Black Butler, can he have Emotions?
by 2 Gothic Tamanegionions
Summary: Ciel commands Sebastian to have Emotions. BTW. In some chapters or parts Ciel will be either a girl or a boy. I don't know, it's your choice. Same age. Nothing's really changed from the original anime,manga, no extra characters. And. hope it tickles your fancy! Have fun and use your imaginations! P.S Not done with all the chapters though.
1. Fatherly

" Young Mistress here is your tea "

Sebastian passes me my tea.

" For tonight's course I will be preparing stuffed shrimp with garlic and butter paste with a light ginger broth, how does that sound to your liking Mistress? "

He lets the curtains fall and turns up the lamp.

"Yes Sebastian that sounds gre-" As I say this my tea spills down my chin.

Sebastian walks over and dabs my chin with his handkerchief " Dear me mistress is there something on your mind? Your do not seem to be yourself, must be the late night you had at the party " he turns and puts his handkerchief away.

Now that I think of it , its been over a year now that Sebastian has become my butler and over a year now that my parents have died. It not that I've never noticed its just that I've just never thought about it. And also the party wasn't that fun because I spent the whole night trying to avoid Elisabeth who tried to get me to dance with her brother William which took her forever to get me to finally agree.

Well then I guess its time to interduce myself, but do excuse me I'm quite tired and I need to retire soon but I'll make it brief.

My name is Ciell Phantomhive, Sebastian is my Butler as you remember my recent words, my parents died a year ago in a house fire by a unknown individual. Its just me running the place. The only family I have now are my Aunt An, my betrothed William, his sister Elisabeth and their mother Aunt Francis.

Sebastian enters my study once again taking my now empty tea cup. Sebastian always makes the best tea, that's one thing about him that you now know. He also makes the best desserts and dishes.

Now that I'm thinking about it, why is Baldroy even my chef when Sebastian pretty much does all the fancy dishes.

I do miss my parents. Aunt An is kind of like a mother to me but every since I started getting into bras she bulldozered me with all the rest of it like the " Birds and the Bees ".

I don't know why but sometimes I see a fatherly type in Sebastian but that's impossible for a demon devil to have emotions I know that now... unless...


	2. How will I go on?

Sebastian, as always pours my tea and turn away to see to the bed sheets.

While I'm buttering my scone my mind goes elsewhere.

To the time he saved me from the Vincent Discount.

The time he saved me from the circus and the whole time he has stayed with me.

Is there a reason behind all this or is that he is staying with me because of my soul?

" Sebastian, can I ask you something?"

He turns once more and walks to my side.

" Yes Young Master, what ever question you have to ask me I will answer it till your curiosity is ceased and satisfied"

I pass him my tea cup. Ahhhh... such a sentence once again.

* Sigh * Now's probably not the right time.

" Master are you okay? You seem to be letting off a stressed aura "

I throw my butter knife at him, but as expected he catches it between his index and middle finger.

" How dear you smell my aura! You know the contract! I know your Hungary but till my final breath leaks from my lungs then you can consume my soul! And till then you serve me at my side till the very end do you understand me! "

The butler bows down

" Yes my Lord, my gentle little Lor-" He doesn't finish once my hand shoots forward.

" Another thing, You do not speak twice, and you do not mock my height am I clear? "

" Master"

*Sigh* " Yes Sebastian I lend you your tongue "

He lifts his head

" You know I will always be by your side, no matter what "

" Yes Sebastian I Know "

" Even if the Throne crumbles, and the shining crown rust and rots away like a carcass and the jewels upon it become one with the ground once more like a precious stone being cast into the waters- "

Ciel wouldn't hear it " Sebastian- "

Not agian

" No Master, Let me finish, you lent me my tongue and I won't give it back till I am done …... Even if countless lifeless shells pile up high there will I remain on the peak of corpses cradling the silent little king who sleeps in my arms, My promise will brand the air, My Master, my gentle little bocchan. I will serve you till your final slumberest breath, I will see to your every need. My place is by your side and there will I always stay. This will I let you know my Lord... I will not bow down my knee twice till I hear the final call of forever onward. "

He lets his head fall, casting his hair over his face. And stands up and leave the room.

Silence fill the space that Sebastian left behind.

Hmm That was deep.

Deep enough to make him sound like he had a heart...

I let off a long sigh

How will I let you know... only if you sensed the start of everything then I wouldn't have to go through the pain of being left alone to nothingness.

Ok

I'm going to do it.

" Sebastian "

The door opens once again and a butler clad in black enters and walks to my side

" Yes Young Mistress? "

I strip off my eye patch and stare him down.

I can feel my eye glow.

" Sebastian I command you to feel happiness... "


	3. Happiness Mistress?

" Ha h happiness Mistress? "

Sebastian's eyes twitch to the left.

" Sebastian, you can't deny my command "

My throat goes dry. Have I just broke him? No. Impossible

Sebastian bows on his right leg with his left knee bent upwards and his head cast down. His voice is rough

" Ye yes my Lord, I will see to it that I am happy from now on "

Sebastian's head bows lower

" I will prepare your dinner my Lord "

His head shots up with a smile on his face as he leaves me to my studies.

The door slowly closes

I close my eyes and the image is branded in my mind.

Have I gone too far?

A chill takes place.

 **Sebastian**

What was that?

Humans, such complicated creatures but so ever fragile in the mind.

How can creatures endure through such an emotion?

How can they hunger for something so plane as food?

Heh

My Master, my mistress, my bocchan, you always seem to surprise me. Surprise me too much that it would seem human. You are no human.

You are far from that.

My company must be finally getting to you.

Soon my Love.

Soon you will be with me.

Soon you will lay down the hunger for food.

Soon your mind and emotions will increase and go blank.

But now is just playing naughty my love.

 **Ciel**

I must have broken him!

Oh well I'll just have to live with it.


	4. Sweets

**?**

 **Hope it tickles your fancy!**

Ok

There was only one way to describe my day.

Strange

Or maybe two

Weird

Or maybe three

Random

There are any more words but my thesaurus is getting blocked by a big boulder of blankness.

So this is what happened if you are getting bored of my choice of words.

 **In the morning**

" Good morning young Master "

He holds out my cup of tea and buttered scone. I make way to get it but suddenly a wave of sleepiness overcomes me and I collapse back in bed.

" Oh my Mistress, had a late night did we? " He says with a smile.

Ok, now I have to deal with that but first I need to get out of bed.

 **At the breakfast table**

" Sebastian, what is the meaning of this why must you make me wait? "

Finally he walks in with a food trolley.

" My apologies, my Lord, for I had to make a special dish for my special Master "

He bows his head and leaves me to my breakfast, what shocks me is my breakfast, what has he done to it?

" Sebastian "

He walks back to m side.

" Yes Mistress? "

I look him in the eye but it's a bit awkward with that smile he's got on.

" Tell me, why is there a heart shape on my Pancakes with cream on top when I asked for jam on a scone? "

What freaks me out the most is that his smile goes a inch wider.

" It is my way to tell you that there is no other Master I would rather serve than you "

My cheeks go hot, but why? He just said that he would rather serve me than any other Lord. What is there to get all blushy about for heavens sake.

*Sigh*

His Frown falters a bit.

" Mistress, is it not to your liking? Because if it's not I can change it to sweets "

My mind goes pop, Sebastian never gives me sweets in the morning. ?

" Sebastian, that would be lovely "

 **Sebastian**

Yes that would be lovely, lovely as you my sweet...

Passing the Masters bedchamber to my room, I think.

Am I being too obvious? I must be.

If only he would feel the same way about a monster like me, then I would be able to save myself from the bloodshed.

 **Still at the table waiting for sweets...**

Sweeeeeeeeeettttttttttttttttssssssssssssssssss!

Wait! Snap out of it!

Is Sebastian hiding something? He must be.

Or is it because I commanded him to be happy. Do I regret it?

 **Im still going to finish it but I have to pack up for class.**

 **I'll finish it in the next chapter.**


	5. Masked rain

**Time to finish this day of yours Ciel!**

Do I regret it?

I think I might.

Or is it just that I don't really know what happiness is that what I'm experiencing is out of what I'm used to?

 **Sebastian**

Darn it!

Have the mice been snooping around the place?

The sweet tin is empty!

Where did all the sweets go?

Oh well guess it's time to make a fresh batch for the Master.

 **Ciel**

Ok this is taking a while.

Walking out of my seat I look out the window.

It's quite a sunny day today.

Oh, the flowers are growing.

Those were the flowers that my mother was most described as, beautiful, stunning, graceful, lively and delicate *sigh* so very delicate. If only my mother's health was stronger and the fire never started then we will all be together in each others arms.

I Continue my walk, out the huge hallway, passing Mey-rin, Baldroy and Finney who seem to be mucking about around in the kitchen with sugar sacks. Wait. What's that noise?

Stepping into the room " Tell me why is there all this noise? "

Mey-rin shuffles forward which makes me step back because she's holding a sack above her head.

" Oh, Mistress, let me explain. Sebastian told us to carry in the sacks while he's preparing to make more sweets for you "

I'm still eyeing the sack

" Very well, but make sure not to spill the sack,ok? "

" Wait Master! I forgot to te- " I walk on.

I try avoiding the sack and all the others but it's too late.

The sack is about to fall on me!

Like a gust of wind something swoops me off my feet.

" Mistress, are you alright? "

Looking up.

It's Sebastian.

" Yes, I'm alright "

He settles me down on my feet.

" Go to hear my Lord, I'm in the middle of baking you a fresh new tin of sweets would you like to try one? "

He leads me to the table where a golden tin filled with chocolate caramels and lolly pops and suckers are cooling and setting.

I pick up one of the chocolates.

It's still warm and is melting a bit.

I lay it on my tongue, and it immediately slides down my throat.

" They are delicious, bring them to the garden with me "

He places the dish on a trolley " Of course "

Sebastian accompanies me to the back garden.

" Right here my Lord? "

He places them on a table in the shade.

" No. I want to be in the sun and observe the flowers "

Settling myself under a tree nest to the flowers.

" Sebastian, What are these flowers called? "

He looks up.

" They are called, " Damasked Rose " Mistress "

I tuck my finger under a petal.

" Damask Rose "

I lift it to my face and let it's fragrance fill me.

I miss mother, even though I was young, then I I knew what was happiness and love was.

Damask Rose

I wonder when I grow up what would be my flower?

 **Dam it it's Maths time! Sorry probably have to finish this in the next chapter or something.**

 **Ladas!**


	6. pain and sorrow

" Sebastian please leave I want to lie by the flowers for awhile and clear my mind "

I position myself but Sebastian is telling me that I'll get my clothes dirty.

" Sebastian, I don't really care, I just want to lie by the flowers for a while that all "

He lets out a sigh.

" Yes Master "

He settles the sweet tin by my side and he leaves.

Now that I think of it a bit more he really does act a bit like an adult.

Picking one of the sweets up I turn it. This is the recipe that my mother gave to me and I gave to Sebastian to make for me, but strangely he makes it seem more better than mother's.

Instead of putting the sweet in my mouth I wrap it in a fallen leaf that fell by my side and place it by the flowers.

Staring at the flowers my mind goes elsewhere.

" Honey you mustn't fall or the maids will have to go through the trouble of having to get the stain out "

Mother picks my tiny body up and places me in her arms.

For a frail person she still did the risky.

" Rachel, let her be. If she wants to do that, then let her do it, I've read that it's healthy for little children to walk around and let their minds sore "

Aunt An takes me from my mother's arms and gently places me on her shoulders and speed walks in circles.

The wind splashes in my face and I scream happily.

Happily I scream.

Mother laughs, she had a beautiful laugh everyone knew that.

Then there's a chuckle behind us and I'm lifted into the air.

Father! He's home!

He rubs his nose into my cheek and blows.

Mother and Aunt An are tickling me from the sides and I scream for them to stop.

The world is filled with smiles and laughter.

Mother comes up from behind and puts me on her shoulders and runs home and ditches the others yelling at them to hurry up. From where I am Aunt An and Father look at each other. Father grabs Aunt An's hand and drags her along and they both race after us calling for us to stop and wait.

I'm crying with laughter.

" Ooohhhh. Look at this Ciel. Isn't It just lovely. "

I look down and find mother staring down at a pink flower.

It makes me smile.

" It looks just like you Mommy "

She gasps and holds my hand and kisses it.

" Thank you Ciel, you are too- "

" There you are "

Aunt and Father have finally found us.

" Oh, love, Ciel tells me that I look like this flower, what do you say? "

He smiles.

" Our son tells no lie, you two are just like identicals, you are just as beautiful as that flower "

Aunt shuffles a bit, our eyes meet, she tries to hide it with a click of her feet, she looks sad.

" And Aunt An, Aunt An looks like the flower too "

Her face goes pinkish.

" Oh no, Ciel your just being too nice- "

" Sister, your beauty is true but not of that flower but this one right here "

Father steps forward and presents a red rose.

Her face goes just as red.

" Um.. Such a lovely red "

He places it behind her ear.

" There, it suits you lovely dear sister, red always does you good "

He steps away and gives mother the flower that we pointed at and places it behind her ear also.

" There you go my love "

I ask mother to set me down and she does.

I hold her hand on the way back home.

Aunt and Father trail behind us.

" Mother, we should plant these at home "

Her face is a mask of tiredness.

" We should, shouldn't we my Ciel, What about tomorrow we ask the florist to sell us some seeds and we can plant them outside in the garden? Hmmm? "

We didn't do it the next day though, but when it came close to mother's Birthday. Father, Aunt An and I decided that we'll plant them and when it's the day of mother's Birthday then they'll all be ready and bloomed.

When the day did come she hugged us all and cried happily.

She smiled for the whole rest of the day after that.

Sometimes when we couldn't find her she would be in the garden caring for the flowers and she would refuse any help from the servants.

Everything was like light above our heads till that day of fire came.

My body snaps up and my breathing is shallow.

It's late in the afternoon.

Why, why oh why must that awful memory be tied to the most beautiful of memories at the same time.

When I look back at the flowers there is a sadness about them. An awful memory that lingers behind it when after all this time I thought it was the light of this place, but no, it only carries sadness.

I order Sebastian to bring me the original recipe that my mother wrote.

With it in my hand I kneel and place it right under a dripping wet flower.

*sigh* This pain, how can one endure it?

Unless.

Sebastian who is behind me probably senses something I guess, but I'll use It to lash out at him like a whip.

" Sebastian "

I say without lifting my head.

" Yes Master? "

Ripping the patch the hides my eye I grab his face and stare him down.

" Share my pain, take what I offer you Sebastian, please "

The night is almost upon us, I must hurry, don't want to slumber till I can get rid of this pain.

" What are you saying Master? "

I can see the light of my eye that reflects off of his face.

" I'm saying share my pain, my sorrow Sebastian, What I'm saying is that I command you to feel sorrow and pain! "

I'm shouting now, but I stop when his eyes reflect mine.

His eyes glow and his eyes swivel to the left.

My face falls into his chest,

Something drips on my hand.

Is it raining?

I look at my hand.

It's blood.

Why is there blood? Am I bleeding.

But no, when I lift my head and look at Sebastian I'm shocked.

His face is dripping with blood.

From his eyes to his chin.

Is Sebastian crying? Is he crying blood?

His eyes are blank then his eyes lock on me.

But for a second before he brings my head back to his chest.

He only speaks three single words.

But they are rough and choked.

More blood tears come spilling on my shoulder.

" Yes my Lord "

 **Gosh, that was hard for me to write without making it seem like it was too much. My favorite part of writing this chapter was Ciel's memory. Poor Aunt An I kinda wish she would get with Ciel's father. I wanted them to but then it would muck up the story, so no sorry.**

 **Don't worry Ciel my friend. All of my English classes hearts are with you ( well, I haven't told them that I'm giving you all our hearts I just kind of said it but our hearts are with you, I guarantee you )**

 **P.S Finally! I finished your day Ciel! Woohoooo!**

 **You beta be proud of me Ciel. It took a lot of effort from my brain to write this.**

 **Time for me to agozza!**

 **Bye! :)**


	7. Cheering up

**THis chapter contains parts from the Book Of Circus, but I changed it up a bit.**

That was what I call a strange day.

All the crying, all the moaning and more crying.

If only mother was here now.

I'm sure I broke Sebastian.

He hasn't said anything out of word besides saying my Lord.

I think it's time to settle this.

" Sebastian, come here please "

The door opens and a man steps in.

" Yes my lord? "

I pat the side of the couch I'm sitting on.

He joins me.

" Mistress, is there something wrong? "

I push the urge away.

" Sebastian, are you sad, is it because of last night? "

What am I saying, of course it was because of last night!

Something out of the corner of my eye moves.

It's Sebastian's arm, it's twitching.

" Yes Mistress, it was of last night, when you commanded me to feel the emotion of sadness it hurt me badly "

*sigh* I can't let this carry on

" Sebastian, you seem way too sad that it is ridiculous "

A sound escapes from Sebastian's mouth.

" What is to be done Master? "

I rub his shoulder.

He goes stiff.

" I'm going to cheer you up, I can't have a gloomy Butler roaming around the manor doing my every need, it just wouldn't be proper "

Sebastian's head falls.

" But why would you go through the trouble of cheering me up, I can just use the emotion happiness "

I shake my head.

" No Sebastian. You're not using it right. You have to have loved ones around you to make you happy and things that make you feel warm and fuzzy inside "

What do I know about happiness?

What I have left of what I know of happiness is only in my memories. But I'm only limited before the madness comes and visits.

I stand up and drag Sebastian up by the arm.

" Come on, it's still the morning, we still have time, come on! "

Dragging him down the hallway.

" Aren't you happy of my choice Sebastian? "

He walks a bit slower.

" No, I do not doubt your decision Master "

" Then what's the matter? "

He Swipes at his fringe to get it out of the way.

" Your care for me Master, even though I'm a monster, a sack full of the definition of bloodshed, a ruler of hell "

I grab his ear and yell in it.

" How dear you call yourself those filthy names!, no one in the manor is a monster, even you Sebastian, you and the other servants, Mey-rin, Baldroy and Finny are like a second family to me! I will not have a family member of mine have a impure and plain mind towards themselves "

If it was you, the ruler of hell then I rather go to hell, than suffer to be separated from you and the others and go to heaven... Where you are, then... that is my heaven.

Of course I didn't say that, but in my head. If I said that out loud would it sound cringey?

I let go and walk to the door that leads to outside.

I turn around and look to where Sebastian is standing looking shocked.

" Are you coming, Sebastian? "

He snaps.

" Yes Mistress "

He follows after me.

" Walk by my side Sebastian, no one of this manor walks behind me ok, always by my side like equals, like family, always by my side that's what you said in your little speech did you not? "

He shuffles forwards.

" Where are we going Master? "

It must seem funny and strange to others that a young man like me is telling a grown man like Sebastian what to do.

" Questions do not apply at this moment, you will find what you seek very soon "

Walking down a corner, If you're wondering how I know my way around I passed this street on the way back from getting my new walking stick because Finny's unbelievable human strength broke my old one.

Turning the final corner we enter a gate.

A gate to the circus.

 **Never mind i'll finish it in the next chapter.**


	8. Blue Candy Floss

**Ok, got a new account, so now I can write as much as I want!**

 **Sorry if this chapter sounds stupid or boring, I'm trying my best to stay awake.**

A gate to the Circus.

" What are we doing here Master? "

I turn around.

" We are here to have fun of course, why else would we be here? "

He nods

" Of course "

I walk on.

" Come, let's get some cotton candy "

We walk over to a man and little girl selling pink, blue and orange cotton candy.

" Sebastian, where is my pouch of money? "

He paces a leather pouch over to me.

" What flavor do you want my young man? "

I point at an orange one and he leans over a bench to get it.

" Good choice son "

" Thank you "

Turning to Sebastian.

" What color do you want? "

" I'll have a pink one please "

The man asks the little girl to pace over a pink one, she eventify is able to get on off of the bench and passes it to Sebastian with a smile.

" Thank you little one "

She puffs out her cheeks and smiles again.

" Your welcome, mister "

We leave the stall and walk around the grounds of the place.

" What rides do you want to go on? "

Sebastian is lost in thought.

" Or do you want me to pick? "

He's quite for a moment more.

" Yes, I think that would be good "

I drag him by the arm once my eyes catch hold of the ferry go rounds.

" Come on! "

Pushing through the crowd we get there before the gate closes.

" Excuse me! "

The man turns around,

" What can I do for you? "

" We would like to have a ride on your ferry go round "

He holds out his hand and I pass him a few coins.

He lets us through.

Ummm...

There is only one set.

" This is ridiculous, it makes me stand out as a child "

We ended up having to share a horse, me in the front and Sebastian at the back.

Still holding my blue candy floss tight. Some came lose and stuck to my face.

" How much rounds are we doing? "

His grip loosens a bit to see where the board was.

" 9 rounds Master "

We were only on the 3rd round around and I was already getting a headache, probably because I haven't been on these for a while. We weren't even going that fast.

My head droops back into Sebastian chest.

" Sebastian, I want to hop off now, I've had enough "

" We've got four more rounds Master "

*Sigh* " Ok "

I spend the next few rounds while lounging in Sebastian's arms.

 **Sebastian**

How is this supposed to make me happy?

I know humans take simple pleasures and make it huge for them, but I'm still not getting this.

*Sigh* At least I have my little king in my arms lying silently...

But with all this noise it just takes the mood away.

I wish I can learn to experience the feeling happiness properly with my Master.

Only if he could save me from the oncoming bloodshed.

 **Back to Ciel**

Man, head hurts.

How am I going to make this day fun for Sebastian?

 **It's such a short chapter!**

 **Sorry, going to have to do some more in the next chapter.**


	9. Lend me your lap

The day was very tiring.

Now to think about it, I have never done this to my servant before.

What happened before is that we both got lost trying to get to the dunking stand, then when we eventually found each other we decided to ty my sash from my hat around each of our wrists so that we won't get lost again. After all that, I'm totally going to crash.

" Sebastian? " My voice is hollow.

He turns his face to me.

" Yes Master? "

I shuffle into place and take off my hat.

" Lend me your lap "

" My Lap? " He looks confused.

I lie down anyway, when I rest my head down he goes stiff.

" I'm tired, this day was supposed to be happy and fun, but I ruined it wit- "

It's too late because I'm already asleep.

 **Sebastian**

Why in the first place did he go through all the trouble of trying to make me happy. A demon?

Whenever I'm with him questions are always on the edge of tipping off my tongue.

Aren't I using happiness properly?

Why is a demon even asking questions to themselves?

*Sigh* He is such a caring yet stubborn person that's it's just ridiculous.

Bloodshed.

It has to pop in my head now.

They are the only words I'm accustomed to. Yet. For the likes of me, a monster, a demon devil has grown to lavish all their emotions on a human individual. A 13-year-old boy, my Master, he is my Lord, and will always will be till our contract ends.

The reason why I've thrown all my feelings at him is because he cared for me, he cared enough to try and make me happy, he let me by his side as a Butler, he gave me a home instead of hell, and he gave me a beating heart with feelings to store inside.

But what I love the most is that he will always call my name.

Also, the thing I promised myself is that I will never harm my Master, never will it happen, but if it does happen then I'll make sure that I burn in the ninth ring of hell, my home.

The Master is so fragile and small.

How will he stand a chance with a savage monster like me if my promise does break?

Lifting my hand to my face I shift my glove back so that my mark is visible. I sniff in the fumes that leak from it.

Having to do this every time when the Master's sent is too much for me.

I wish there was a way to be by his side for eternity at the same time as being immune to his odorous soul.

My hand drops.

This is probably why I can't be happy, I'm grieving for something I can't have. It's useless, like me.

With my other hand, I pat and smooth out the Master's hair which has stuck up. I continue to do this for a while longer.

The Master's head stirs and his hand grips on the sash tighter.

 **Ciel's Dream**

What's happening?

What is that smell?

It's neither salty nor sour but a balanced sweetness. It's sweeter than anything I've ever inhaled.

What is it?

There's a glint of white from the comer of my eye.

But It's pitch black, how can that be?

It's as if I'm blind.

There's another flash of light.

Something lands on a nearby branch.

Where did that come from?

….

It's a bird, a black bird.

Is it a raven?

It must be.

The raven looks at me and starts hoping around and twitching.

I feel my face lift up into a smile.

The bird squawks and fly's over my head and a glistening feather floats to my side. I pick it up and hold onto it.

I sit down on what seems to be nothing fiddling with the feather till I hear a sound.

It sounds sweet yet soft at the same time.

Is someone singing?

The sound goes higher then softens to a humming sound.

I know that sound.

I get up and walk around but it's hard when it's pitch black, you don't even know if your moving or not.

" Mother, Look at this! "

I turn around.

The person that belongs to that voice is a little boy in a summers outfit.

There's something about him that makes me want to feel special.

 **Sebastian**

Is the Master ok?

Why is he moving around like that?

His head turns flat in my lap but his arms are stiff.

Wait what is in his hands?

One final movement answers my question.

My Master is holding a black Raven's feather.

What?

What is he doing with a feather and where did he get it?

He jolts again this time but it was stronger than the last one.

I sit him up on the bench that we are sitting on.

" Master "

He doesn't reply

" Master, are you ok? "

He's not waking up!

What happened to him?!

I'm so useless! I'm off guard for the first time and this happens!

With one more shake on the shoulders his head falls to the right.

My eyes settle on one thing.

My hand, my glove.

My glove isn't up!

My symbol is exposed!

And there's black smoke leaking from it.

I watch as some enter in to my Master's body.

What have I done!

 **Ciel's Dream**

What is that achiness in my head?

I watch the boy closer.

He still hasn't seen me.

But he called out " Mother ", but where is the boy's parent?

Forgetting my position, I walk over to where the boy is.

" Ciel Darling, what have you got there? "

I stop dead

Someone is standing in front of me.

A woman

A woman of beauty.

My Mother.

 **Sebastian**

I'm so useless

OH MY GOD!

No OH MY DEVIL!

I need to wake up the Master!

 **Back to Ciel...**

Mother?

She's facing my way but her eyes are distant but still the way I remember, beautiful, full of love and happiness.

I turn around and look at the boy.

I look at myself.

I start to feel something in my chest, something that stings and burns and I look away.

Is it loathing?

It is, I can feel it.

It's not fair.

How is he allowed to live with Mother when I can't?

I look at the boy, myself.

But when I look back at the boy my mind goes blank.

That single glance.

His eyes are the same too.

They look just like Mother's.

They' re special.

Those eyes I used to see through light up instantly.

" I found a bird! But he's injured though. I found him on the drawing room window, can we look after the birdy please, just until he gets better?

I can't see what the boy is holding, but when he walks over to Mother, there, in his little hands is a black raven.

The one from before.

The raven's head turns my way and stares at me.

Not distant, but focused.

My eyes flash open to the night sky.

 **I'm so tired! My brain hurts so bad and it's 11:58!**

 **Gotta go!**


	10. Chapter 10

**I was just looking back on my fanfic... It really does suck.**

 **Thanks for all the nice comments instead of sending flames on me!**


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